The Happiness movement has been encouraging us to think happy thoughts to change our energy in the hopes of attracting more positive outcomes into our lives. And for millions or people that’s all it takes. I’m one of those people, usually. I can simply decide to pay attention to something else. In other words, I choose what I think about… usually.
What happens when we trip in our intentions and we find ourselves squarely down the rabbit hole, like Alice in Wonderland, we seemingly wake up one day, looking around surrounded. Surrounded by questions and tasks that are logical, and not.
Staying with the Alice in Wonderland analogy, her first challenge… wasn’t to climb back out of the rabbit hole, but rather to figure out how to get through the very tiny door. A bottle labeled drink me seemed enough for her to continue getting deeper and deeper into the fantasy.
Just like Alice we are all in our own fantasy your choice at this present moment is to decide what you will allow into your fantasy. You see, whether you are at home preparing lunches for the kids, getting ready to go to work, or sitting in front of a computer writing a blog post, you are in your own little fantasy. In your fantasy you may imagine what other people will think when they eat that sandwich you built from nothing but bread, leftover chicken and mayo… or in your fantasy you imagine the people you will help or work you will complete to the satisfaction of someone else. (are you sensing the theme?)
Even Alice in Wonderland wasn’t there because she was thinking about herself and her needs and her alignment… no, she chased a distressed rabbit that she wanted to help.
- Seems like a very negative mindset, but in fact it’s the opposite, the sooner you take yourself off autopilot and learn that you can align yourself without input from your usual go to external authorities. (i.e. Your kids, Your spouse, Your sister, brother, mother, father… your co-workers, your boss, your friends)
Alignment is an inside job. Your alignment is your ability to be enough and understand that you are enough.
You can not be taken for granted, because you gave what you had available without any notion of recompense.
You can not be used up, because you are enough for you.
You can not be under-valued, because you understand you are filled with irreplaceable value.
When you don’t feel those things about yourself, it’s possible it’s because you are looking for external dynamics to support your ideas and thoughts about who you are. In fact, we are taught from a very young age that is how we need to interact. From our earliest lessons on proper behavior we have been indoctrinated into the idea that we are here to please other people: First our parents, then our teachers, professors, spouses…
How can you please other people truly, if you aren’t pleased with yourself?
There is a saying, that you must be able to pay the electric bill if you want to be the light of the world. YOU are the electric company.
To fill your life with joy, you need to recognize how joy feels, and look for it.
Positive Alignment is about paying attention.
What if you can’t help paying attention to the moments when you aren’t happy. At some moment you’ll recognize you’re in the rabbit hole. STOP TAKE A DEEP BREATH. Work out how you got there. Reverse engineer the path that dropped you in the hole.
Every time I’ve found myself down the rabbit hole it was because of a habit. A habit of arguing, a habit of wanting someone else to acknowledge my value, wanting something outside of myself to help validate my worth or value. Every single time.
My path to positive alignment has taught me:
#1) Being right is never more important than being happy
#2) I am a wonderful person, talented, friendly and fun and that is not measured on social media or party invitations.
#3) I can not read someone else’s mind or their intentions and what they do has nothing to do with my value and everything to do with their choices.
#4) We all have a story we tell ourselves about what’s possible, and we can change that story at any time, but few people do.